Divorce is difficult no matter how amicable it is. Everyone knows that divorce takes time and most take many years before deciding to get divorced. During this process, a lot of animosities have been built and one is no longer in the same state of mind. If you are considering a divorce you are no longer happy in your relationship. Your reasons may be many however, your time is limited and so are your decisions. You can either make the attempt to create a new life with your spouse not based on the past because you already know what your past was about and how it was lived with your significant other. It did not work! So the choices are to evaluate if you will commit to saving your marriage or moving on.
Saving The Marriage
Saving your marriage is not only about going to marriage therapy. Saving your marriage is about finding what works and actively participating. The main question to ask yourself is if you are committed to finding a solution or are you just complying for the purpose. Working on your marriage is not only working on how both get along. It’s also beneficial to work on oneself. Look for what you are not getting in life and how you can achieve it in the relationship you are currently in. Blaming your partner for your own unhappiness doesn’t allow one to grow and find fulfillment. Therefore I recommend you seek marital advice as well as individual. There is a better chance of saving your marriage by changing the dynamics and changing traits or behaviors that attract negativity in your life. Find happiness within the family structure and within yourself. I know your thinking is easier said than done however, start somewhere, anywhere but start.
Moving On
Moving on is hard because of the habits we have formed within the marriage and its familiarity. Moving on is never easy and it does take time to adjust to being without the person or family. There will be moments you will question if you did the right thing. However, there is no right or wrong they are choices one makes to move forward in life. Moving on does not mean you let go of your responsibilities if any. It means you no longer share responsibilities with your partner on an emotionally intimate level. You may share many things together after a divorce but no longer as a couple that makes decisions together. In addition, you no longer get to make decisions for him or her either. Furthermore, if you are in the position of staying and your partner is not. You must let go of wanting something that is not working for both. It would be selfish to seek only your own happiness and disregard the wishes of the one you claim to love.
If you are in the position of leaving understand the choices you make and how they affect the other. It will be selfish to make a choice beneficial to you and disregard the other. Keep in mind that you have moved on and the other hasn’t.
Toxic Relationship
If you are in a toxic relationship where respect no longer exists. You have waited too long to decide on divorce. There is animosity, lack or respect, lack of love and most likely lacks cooperation. Question yourself why do you want to be in a relationship that causes you grief or disappointment. Discrediting the partner you chose also discredits you. Blaming your partner for what he or she is not giving you lets you know you are not in control of him or her and you are not in control of yourself. Staying in a bad relationship is not viewed as if you deserve a self sacrifice metal. It tells the world someone else decides your fate. You’re inability to move forward keeps accustomed to pain and suffering. Begin to make choices and prepare for your independence.
Divorce Mediation Resources https://www.divorce-mediation-resources.com based out of New Jersey helps couples with no-nonsense tutorials on marriage or divorce. The message is if you are in or are you out and whatever that decision is you being the process of acceptance, action, and healing.