A divorce is a life-changing event for anyone going through a divorce. Some may have a better experience than others however, all go through the emotional turmoil in the decision process. Once a couple has taken the time to decide if divorce is their only solution, the detachment takes place. The life-long partner you had is no longer a partner and in some cases not even your friend. The Fact is, divorce is an unpleasant experience. It is filled with shame, guilt, and anger. The problem occurs when two people who promised each other so many things are forgotten. Couples don’t take action when challenges arise and instead they build a time bomb with no possible solution. Divorce in 2022, couples are a lot more independent and in the “ME I” state of mind. Relationships have forgotten what it’s like to be “WE.”
This “me I” society will have to come to an end for couples to value monogamy as it deserves. In the meantime, during the divorce process for those of us in the divorce system, we continue to see the true side of divorce. Couples are unwilling to seek guidance before marriage or during and end up having a set of beliefs that were acquired by their friends and family. Unfortunately, friends and family mean well but are not familiar with state laws and requirements.
Divorce is the end of a prolonged decision process. In addition, couples who have clarity of what they want have the opportunity to resolve their minimal issues during mediation, closing the gap on the pitfalls of divorce. Those divorcing who are in disagreement can also benefit from mediation and come to terms on what they would like to see rather than have someone else decide for them.
Divorce can take time and sometimes years because couples are not sure how long they are willing to live in disagreement. Therefore, the process is as follows.
Facts During The Divorce Process
- Disagreement and unhappiness time. (endless)
- Decide to get a divorce ( the battle begins for the ones who have not come to terms with a divorce)
- Agreeing on child custody, child support, alimony, and division of assets ( depends on the couple’s ability to understand they are no longer a family and will not have the same lifestyle) one misconception is believing they both are entitled to live with the same financial means and support that each provided to each other.
- Deciding on a lengthy or short divorce (depends on the coupes expectation and their ability to cope)
- Divorce can be very costly when you use your attorney as a therapist. When you send e-mails back and forth and when you call them all the time. (being prepared is crucial, mediation assists with the preparation and the cost is much less)
- Concern for the children is recommended rather than using them as revenge. When parents use their children to hurt the other parent that is ill will. Manipulating the children into taking sides will hurt your children’s emotional stability. Parents need to understand children love both their parents period, if they have an issue they will disclose it. Couples need to be reminded they are divorcing each other, Not the children. They, however, are the ones who are affected by the ill-willed parent.
- The division of property is another misconception and fact that occurs during a divorce. In many cases, 90% of the higher income earner does not believe he or she should share their financial efforts and benefits with their ex. If they like you they will set an amount and if they don’t like you they will start at $0. No! there is not a law or specific calculation that everyone can follow( this is left to it depends on…) Every state is different, every lawyer presents it differently, etc.
As you can read these are the most common issues addressed during the divorce process and the more you know and the better you are prepared, the less money and time it will cost you.
Learn about the process of divorce and understand what you will be dealing with prior to filing. https://www.divorce-mediation-resources.com.